Tomorrow afternoon, I must return to Gettysburg for another hearing for my son. I am not very happy about any of this, but must say this much. Our judge, Judge Khun, is very fair, and he's been our judge for everything that we've had to deal with. I don't enjoy making a family court judge angry, but I do know that he's not angry with me.
This afternoon, I received a phone call from my son's caseworker. My son is supposed to be attending a program called "Why Try", that is done by Adams County Children and Youth. The program started when school started, and my son has had transportation to get to this class. They have had 4 classes since the beginning of the school year, and yet, my son has only attended 1 class. This class is also a condition of his probation that was set last Tuesday, at the criminal hearing. Guess who didn't goa to class this afternoon? He was also late for school 2 days last week, and again on Monday of this week. I was, yet again, NOT notified by the school. I am beyond frustrated over all of this. If the school can notify Children and Youth, you'd think that they'd be able to notify me, the boy's MOTHER! I have been fighting with them for the past 11 years, since Kindergarten for this specific school, I have never received ANYTHING from them regarding my son's report cards, truancy issues, or behavioral issues. I have a court order that says that they HAVE to send me EVERY piece of paper that they send to my ex-husband, the boy's father.
I suppose that after speaking with the Dean of Students, my son's guidance Counselor, AND the Superintendent of the school district that things would have been taken care of. However, that is not the case. So, my next step is to head to a school board meeting, and get myself on their list of people who are having issues that need to be dealt with. I have been told by Children and Youth, as well as my son's probation officer, and another parent with a child in that district that they do no play nice with non-custodial parents. Well, in my case, I have a court order that states that I have SHARED legal and SHARED physical custody of our son. The school is now in direct disobedience of that court order. They have a legal and moral obligation to notify me. Since they cannot do that, I'll go over all of their heads, and if I get no where with the school board, then I'll just start suing the school. I am now finished with all of this stupidity!
When my son did not even attempt to attend this class tonight, I said to myself, don't call his father...give him the opportunity to call you. It's now 3:33 am and I have NOT received a phone call from the boy's father...YET again...which means that now, I'm going to have to ask the court to hold my ex-husband in contempt of court for not following our custody order...it's not like he didn't know about it, he signed it the same day that I did...so if I know about it, then so does he.
I am so tired of being backed into corners when it comes to dealing with the children. You know that you're always told to never back an animal into a corner, as it will come at you in a very ugly way...well, I'm now backed into that corner, and the truth is, that I am going to come out swinging now. I've tried to be nice about all of this, and catching flies with honey is not working...so, now, it's time to start getting legal on all of this. I will not tolerate the school not working with me. So, this means that I will have to find an attorney in Adams County, PA, who will be able to help me...which means that come Wednesday, I'll be doing A LOT of research on my computer.
Signing off a very, very frustrated mother, who is tired of always having to be the "bad guy" of the parenting team. Once, just once, I'd like to be the cool parent, the one who gets to have the fun with the kids, and not the one to dole out the tough love and the punishments. I don't understand why I have always had to do this. But then again, I also do not understand why when WOMEN are caring for their children, they are "mothering" or "parenting", yet when a MAN is caring for his children, they are "babysitting". Did I miss something here...did the man not give up some sperm to make said child? Why should everything have to fall on the mother's shoulders? I thought parenting was a team effort, and that it is necessary for children to have both their mother and their father in their corner, to love them, change diapers, doctor's visits, discipline, and whatnot. Why is it that we, women, must always be the "disciplinarian", while the fathers get to be the "cool, fun" parent. I know that life isn't fair, but this goes a bit farther than that. Those children belong to BOTH parents...Fathers are PARENTS...therefore, gentlemen, please, from a frustrated mother, PARENT your children...do not PLAY with them and certainly do not BABYSIT them...you hire a babysitter...and the last time I looked, I have never seen a father get paid to spend time with his children.
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