Now What?

So, today, I found out that my soon to be ex-husband is no longer living in our marital home full time.  I am livid that he did not tell me this.  I don't even know what to think about it.  We are supposed to be informing each other of these types of things...and I had to give him my address when I moved...so why does HE not have to abide by the rules that HE set?  Why am I the one who keeps her end of the bargain while he does not?  I am very frustrated.

On a good note, I had a very nice date last night with a wonderful gentleman.  I enjoy his company, and he enjoys mine...so, that's awesome.  I have met both of his daughters, his sister, his ex-wife, and her sister.  I was really nervous about it last night, but all went well.  I was myself, and I liked everyone, and was told that they liked me as well.  

Finding myself single again.

So, after years of marriage, I am finding myself single again.  It wasn't something that I wanted, and wasn't what I planned for.  I had planned to be married to my soon-to-be-ex-husband for the rest of our lives.  I loved this man, and wanted to work things out.  Turns out, that he had had all of this planned for a year, and waiting until the last of our five kids, who lived at home, had turned 18, to tell me.  He told our children the week after this last Christmas that he was going to divorce me, but yet, he was telling me that we'd go to marriage counseling to fix our marriage, and giving me false hope.  I've since moved out, and am now on my own.  I'm trying to set everything up for myself, and working on being a strong person.  Don't know how well I'm doing, and I feel that I'm failing in a lot of ways.  Some of my friends say that I'm doing really well, but the truth is, I'm falling apart.  My ex cannot do the things that he said he would do, and so my rent check bounced this month, and now, my room mate is angry with me, and I can't blame her for that, however, it's something that is out of my control.  I suppose that my ex is trying to make his threat of seeing me in the poor house true.  


Now, I have to run to MD to file all of the paperwork, that HE said that he'd file, but he can't be bothered to do so.  Therefore, it leaves it up to me, again.  Whenever there's dirty work to be done, I must be the one to do it.  


Am just frustrated, and I hate having to always be the strong one.