Had a chance last night to have the talk that needed to be talked out. I was so afraid to say what I wanted and needed to say that I had myself all worked up for nothing...whew! It was a great talk...we both cried, and I think more for the fact that we're both hurting, in different ways, but hurting nonetheless. I am now at the point that I know what I need and what I want. I need that friendship more than anything else...and that is what is necessity. Anything else is a want, and therefore not a necessity, and I can live without it. I'm good with that.
At this point, I've decided that I will not be someone's second choice. I need to be someone's first choice...don't get me wrong, I don't need to be their first relationship, but I need to be the one that they want. I'm also seeing that it's more important to be wanted and not needed. I want someone who will love me for who I am, and not try to change me, who sees that in my imperfections that I am perfect for them, who will share my burdens and allow me to share theirs, to forge a life together. That's what I need. Everything else will fall in place as the search continues.
By the way...the search is still on...I'm still looking and taking boyfriend applications!
No comments:
Post a Comment