Looking Back and Looking Forward

For the past couple of days, I have been a bit introspective.  I've been running down memory lane a bit, but not the good memories.  I decided to go back and read my blog from the beginning.  I'm quite startled by reading it, as I guess I didn't realize that I was really that broken.

You see, I chose to start this blog when I was separating from my ex-husband, and I used it to tune into myself, to look at where I was making mistakes.  I wanted to make myself a better me.  I think that I've accomplished that, being better, although there is always room to improve.  I still use my blog to look inward, to see where I am, and to figure out where I want to go.  Moving forward seems to be the catch phrase these days.  Even if those moving steps are baby steps, at least it's forward momentum.  

I'm also thankful to those of you who have come on this journey with me, the journey to find who I was, who I wanted to be, and why I was the way that I was.  For those of you who were there in the day-to-day, I cannot even begin to express how much your support and love have meant to me.  For those of you who read my blog, and silently applaud my successes, sigh at my failures, I thank you too, for being there, for allowing me to explore those deep and dark thoughts in my brain without being judgmental.  It's been through your support that I've been able to move forward.  I know this, and I hope that you do too.

Looking forward is a good thing.  I'm looking forward to what life will bring me next.  I am going to embrace it all, and take it as it comes without being so "hyped up" about it.  It's been good for me to take the high road, even though at times, it's felt stifling...it was still the best thing to do.

I love that GB stands behind me, and encourages me to do the right thing, to be who I am supposed to be, and loves me through all of this.  Thank you, especially to him, for loving me, in the way that he loves me.  

Writing Up My Recipes

For the most part, I cook from recipes that I grew up with, or was taught by friends and room-mates along the way.  None of these have ever been written down, as I have a really good memory.  So, when my daughter's new Mother-In-Love asked me to send her my recipes, I had a bit of a panic!

There has only been one time in which someone asked for one of my recipes, and God Love Her, she had to come to my house, and watch me cook it, while writing it all down.  This recipe has now become one of her family's favorites, as it is with my family.  It's a chicken curry, of sorts.  Not a real Curry Recipe, but one that I adapted, after living with a Pakistani woman when I was about 22 years old.  Needless to say, this has been in my cooking repertoire for years!  It is also the WORST recipe to have to write out, because it is truly one of those: "shake of this, shake of that" type of recipe.  I just hope that Shayna will be able to figure it out, as I know she will, because she has cooked this meal with me, many times, and has acted as my Sous Chef for making it.  She'll understand it, because she grew up with it.  Hopefully, she'll be able to teach her future children how to make it, and the recipe will live on.

Along with that recipe, I have sent my recipes for Lasagna, Stuffed Shells, Sausage and Peppers, Potato Salad, Crab Dip, Crab Cakes, and many more.  I even gave instructions on how I serve each meal, what kind of bread or salad, or vegetable that I serve with each main course.  These recipes have fed my family for many years, and for the most part, they are all loved by each of my kids, and I'm happy to now have a record of them, written down, for all of them, should they request them.

So, I have done what was asked, and I sure do hope that my daughter will love and cherish this Family Cookbook, as it not only includes my recipes, but those of her new Mother-In-Love, her Grammy P, and her daddy's girlfriend.  It's been a labor of love that has taken many days to get my recipes typed up and e-mailed to Dottie!  I hope that our kids really enjoy the recipes, and use the frequently.