Visit with my daughter

Tonight's post is in my daughter's favorite color, purple.  She's visiting this week, and I can't say how much I miss her when she's not here.  It was so strange going from being a full time wife and mother, to a complete empty nester, sans husband.  I'm still not used to not having her and the ex around all the time.  It can get a little lonely.  


I'm getting used to being on my own, but I don't particularly like it, and I really do not like sleeping alone.  Libby is good at sharing the bed, but truly, she doesn't cuddle all that well.  I miss spooning with someone.  I miss the extra body heat on my back, and someone's breath stirring my hair.  I miss waking up in the morning with someone yawning next to me.  There's so much that I miss.  I can't even think to type it all in.  


I'm learning that I don't NEED to have a man in my life to feel complete, and isn't that an awesome thing to learn?  However, I WANT a man in my life, someone who completes my sentences, who knows that when I'm sad, that I just need to cry it out, and not make me feel guilty for crying, or who doesn't feel guilty that I am crying.  Who can understand that I'm a complicated woman, who loves with everything that she has, good, bad, and ugly.  It's who I am, and I am proud of that.  I want someone who will accept me for who I am as well.  


I'm handling my bills, to the best of my ability at this time, with the tightness of my budget, and am trying to keep my head above water, but it looks as though I'll have to get a part time job to do that...on top of my other job...so, 2 part time jobs for me.  Dang...I was supposed to be able to take it easier at this point in my life, and at this age, especially since I don't have to support children anymore...but that wasn't to be.  At least not for the near future...or the far future, as far as I can see, anyway.  


So, I'm taking things one day at a time, and I'm very much enjoying this time with Shayna.  She makes me smile...a lot, and we giggle together a lot too.  That's the best...when you realize that your children are adults, and now, you can change the relationship a bit, to be more like friends than parent and child.  It's so much nicer!