Forgiveness

Tonight, I'm thinking about forgiveness.  I'm kind of wondering what that means to people.  To me, it means not becoming bitter over something, and letting it go, but it doesn't mean that what the other person did was wrong, just that you are not going to hold onto it.  When we forgive someone, it isn't accepting their bad behavior, it's just not allowing them to rent space in your mind.  


I don't want certain people to rent space in my mind, or my heart, really.  So, here we go...I'm going to forgive my soon-to-be-ex-husband.  I'm not going to allow you to hurt me anymore, and I'm not going to allow you to have any space in my heart anymore either.  I'm going to let you go, and let you do your thing.  Just understand that this doesn't mean that you've gotten away with hurting me, it's just that I no longer wish to hurt you.  I don't wish to fight with you anymore.  I do not wish to be a part of your life either.  I am not going to be vindictive towards you any longer.  I'm going to walk away now.  Although, don't take this to say that I'm not going to fight for what is legally mine, as I will, that has nothing to do with whether or not I have forgiven you for hurting me in the way that you have hurt me, and know that when we go to court, I plan on winning.  


Know that I wish you every happiness in the world, and that I want you to be healthy as well.  I am just done now. I am tired.


I would like, however, for you to file for the alimony, as well as the divorce as soon as possible, as I'm done waiting for you to do it already.   You asked for the divorce, I moved you, you need to deal with the legal paperwork of it all.  I refuse to do that, and will continue to do so, as this was not my choice, and I'm no longer going to be doing the dirty work of our family for you.  


Good Luck to you, in finding what you really want in a wife, and truly, I am sorry that it wasn't me.  I forgive.