Drinks with the Soon To Be Ex Husband

This afternoon, my soon-to-be-ex-husband was in my town, visiting with his parents, and said he wanted to meet for drinks after he was finished with his visit.  Ok, so I went.  He wanted to discuss our divorce.  Interesting....I must say that he at least took me to a decent place, and paid for the drinks...yay....should have gotten a brandy instead of a Stella, but it was good.  The conversation was even better.  It's kind of nice to be able to talk to him, and not fight with him.


So, what's happening, he's going to pay for our divorce!  YAY!  Bad news...he can't file until 1 year from the date that he established residency in West Virginia.  So, that date is 8-16-2012.  The good news is that the residency waiting period, and the separation period are the same amount of time, and WVA takes those two time periods concurrently...which means, that we can file on 8-16, and hopefully, have everything finalized within 6 weeks of that date.  That would be great.  So...we'll be married, legally, for the next 11 months.  


In another way, this actually good for me...it means a WHOLE year on his insurance...and then we'll have that time to work on our settlement, and my spousal support.  


At this point, I just want to get it all over with, and not fight with him anymore.  I REALLY just want to get on with my life, allow for him to get on with his life, and for us to just share our kids and grandkids, and future grandchildren.  Even if we're not married, we can at least work on some kind of friendship, and wouldn't that just make everything easier?


I'm thinking that the answer to that would be yes...as long as we can work together.  It would be the best thing for everyone involved.  I want to be able to attend weddings where he'll be, because obviously, Shayna wants him to walk her down the Aisle...as HE should do!  He did the majority of the Daddying for her, and she is really more his than any one else's daughter, except MINE!  She adores him, and he adores her.  It's as it should be, and I don't think that our divorce should put her in a position where she has to choose sides.  I think that's heartbreaking for the kids.  Even if the kids are now adults.  Poor Shayna had to live in the same house with us, that last 6 months.  It was just as difficult on her as it was on us, and I'm sure maybe a bit worse, as she had to watch our marriage fall apart.  I am so sorry about that for her.  I wish it hadn't gone down that way.  It was an ugly time, but the truth is that I had to live there with him, for HER best interest, which was to stay at her high school, and NOT be uprooted 4 months before graduation.  It was important.  I loved her more than my need to get away from her daddy.  


He also bought a new-to-him vehicle.  It's a 2000 Range Rover Discovery.  It is REALLY nice....and he paid cash for it...what that means for Shayna is that our 2002 Ford Taurus, which does  have some problems, will be going to a friends to be fixed, and then will be handed down to Shayna, so that she'll have her own vehicle.  Kent and I decided that we'd give it to her, with the condition that she pay for 1/2 of the repair costs.  Kent and I think that it's important that she pay for that, so that the car will mean something to her.  Kent said that he'd pay for the repairs up front, but that she'd have to pay him back.  That's a pretty good deal, as we all know, that Daddy will work with Shayna.  She is a bit spoiled, even if he doesn't want to totally admit it...but she is.  I'm sure that I'll have to remind her to pay her daddy....Or, she could pay me, and I'll send daddy a check for  her.  Although, she DID open up her first bank account...I'm so proud of her, and even happier that it's with the same bank that I bank with, which means if money gets a bit tight for her, that I will be able to transfer funds into her account...which makes me feel a little better, should she get into trouble with her allergy serum.  Every 10 weeks, she has to have a re-fill, and it's about $100.00 for that tiny little bottle of stuff that needs to be injected.  Then it's about 13$ for her syringes, and so, she still needs a bit of help with that. 


Shayna told me today that she is working at Kohls in Easton, has interviewed at Applebees, and she is also going to be helping one of my friends who runs 2 bed and breakfasts, which will be great for her, and it means that if she plays this right, and keeps saving money back, she'll have the money to pay for 1/2 of the repairs.  


I guess it just goes to show that people who are going through a divorce can do so on civil terms.  I don't want to drag him through the mud, unless i HAVE to do it...BUT I'd really rather not.  I think that things have been ugly enough, don't you?