Punishment?

This has been an interesting week.  Besides going to get my bridal set looked at, I also went and got a library card...one more step towards my fully being a resident of PA.  I've been told that I'm bitter by my ex, who even though he's doing exactly what I asked him to do, and am thrilled that he's doing it, I can't give him the correct emotion that he's expecting....He's expecting me to be bitter....Can't give him that, so yet again, I'm not doing what he wants me to do.  


Then I found out that my son is pissed off at me because I didn't call HIM on my 2 and 4 year grandson's birthdays, and that's why he didn't call ME on my birthday.  So, now, he's punishing me because I didn't do what HE expected me to do.  Just more of the same...I don't what people expect of me, and then I get punished for it...Instead of calling me, and asking, hey MOM?  Did you forget?  Are you ok?  or even:  It really hurt me that you didn't call on the boy's birthdays.  Which would have given me a chance to apologize.  But, I suppose that I don't deserve to be told the truth.  So, at this point, I think that I'm going to follow some advice, that I know will hurt me so much, but maybe just maybe, it's time to cut some people out of my life...even though these are people that I raised, and cared for, fought for, fed, paid their rent, made sure that they had everything that they needed, and some of what they wanted, and that even though I did the best that I could, with what I had to be a good mother, it wasn't enough.  So, here I am again, feeling like NOT ENOUGH.  


So, what I have found is that for some people, I will never be enough...I won't be a good enough mother, a good enough wife, or whatever it is that they think that I should be...I will NEVER be perfect, so, I think they need to get used to that.  


I hate feeling as though I can't ever do anything well enough...I suppose that these same people think that I'm not working through my own issues, and my feelings of grief over the loss of my marriage, and my children, well enough either.  I guess that I'm supposed to be "over" it already.  I guess they don't understand how devastating it is to be told by your husband that he doesn't love you anymore, and that you are nothing more than a friend to him, is something that I'm just supposed to get over quickly.  I'm sorry that I'm not healing quickly enough for y'all.  I'm sorry that you feel that I was a terrible wife, and a terrible mother.  I'm sorry that I couldn't do better for you.  All in all, I'm sorry....Can the punishment stop now please?