I went to go get new (to me, anyway) tires on my car today. Because I totally mutilated the driver's side tire, I decided to get matching tires on the front end. The passenger's side tire was also really bare...more than I thought it had been. Can't believe how well my car rides now! The young man who put the tires on my car was very nice, and I really enjoyed speaking with him. He is a Marine, now a vet, and has my respect. He was also really sweet in that he put my spare tire back into my trunk, where it belonged, and fixed it into place. He didn't have to do that, it's really not in his job description. It was great to know that some people really will go above and beyond in their jobs. It gives me great hope for the next generation. New tires feel great. I may need a front end alignment. I'll have to think about that, as it's going to be awhile before that happens, as new brakes will be more important, and I'm thinking that it's almost time for that to happen...oh, and I need an oil change and lube job (FOR THE CAR) done as soon as possible.
Hope that y'all have a great weekend.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Yep...it's a Monday
Yep! That's the driver's side tire on my car. No, I wasn't in an accident, got about 2 blocks from my house, heard that flop, flop, flop sound of a flat tire, had to drive another block to get to a safe place to pull over, got out, looked at a flat tire, decided to head back home, praying the whole time that I wouldn't kill the rim on my wheel. Got it home, tore the tire on the drive home, pulled into the gravel part of our driveway, as the paved part is on a hill, and then jacked it up myself. HA! Forgot to loosen the lug nuts...go figure...I forgot something REALLY important! Lowered the car back down...took off what I THOUGHT were the lug nuts, raised it up again, and couldn't pull the dang thing off....found that those were just CAPS! Lowered the damned thing AGAIN...tried to loosen the ACTUAL lug nuts...couldn't get enough torque to do that, so in a flash of absolute frustration, a couple of nasty words, I gave up! Best friend called me at this point, and as y'all know, I cry when I'm frustrated...so, poor man caught me in tears. Told me to just put everything back in the trunk, he was on his way, as I supposed to be headed to his place to watch his son, my nephew, so that he could get some sleep so that he could work tonight. Needless to say, he got there, got me, took me to the campground, where I could get into the pool to cool off and swim off some frustration. Can't tell y'all how much I just wanted to kick my car! Didn't do it, but sure did want to do it!
Gotta love the best friend...he allowed me to use his car so that I could get to school tonight. I received my final grade for my orientation...full 4.0! YAY! So excited about that. I start my first credit bearing classes on the 9th of July. One week off, but not really. I have homework to get done before my first class, so, therefore, I'll get that done as soon as possible, so that it's done, and out of the way. I just feel better when I can do that. I prefer to get stuff done so that I can relax. Will 5 weeks of class, then 1 week off, and then another class at 5 weeks for the next 4 years...that will be my life. Work, school, divorce proceedings, and trying to have some kind of a life outside of those 3 things. Whew...I'm going to be busy!
Here's hoping that your Monday was better than mine, and that Tuesday will be much better than today!
Monday, June 18, 2012
Sad Day
Today is a very sad day. One of my cousins is being taken off of life support. My heart is crying for her daughters, my uncle, aunt, and her brothers and sister. I have no words for my family, nothing, except that I am sorry. Due to some life choices, she's been ill for a very long time, and unfortunately, all of her bodily systems have stopped working. The doctors have said that there is nothing that can be done, and that she is suffering and the family has chosen to remove her. I don't want her to suffer any more than she has, and I don't want my family to suffer either. I know that this is the most difficult thing that they have ever had to do, and I'm sure that it is not sitting easy with them. If you pray, please pray with me today, for the healing of their hearts, and the love of family to surround them today.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Falling
I know it's late, it's 2:43 am, to be exact, but I'm still awake. On Tuesday evening, I fell at my job. Came back into the store after a short break, and my feet slipped right out from underneath of me. I hit the floor HARD! So hard, actually, that it knocked the wind right out of me, and I ended up laying on the floor for a couple of seconds. As the evening went on, I was experiencing more and more pain in my back. I got home, took some OTC meds, and laid down with a heating pad. I slept fitfully, as rolling over was really painful, and when I woke up on Wednesday morning, I could barely move. Trip to the Urgent Care Center. They did x-rays, and fortunately, I didn't break my tailbone. The doc said it was amazing that I didn't, as the way that I fell, I should have! Thank you Jesus for that small miracle. So, they gave me some pain meds and a muscle relaxer, and I've been pretty loopy all day. I'm going back to work tomorrow from 10-2. I have to bring in my doctor's note, and then, run errands, pay my rent and so on. Life must go on.
I should be asleep, but I can't. I can't believe that I fell like that, and it scared the crap out of me, as well as my manager. My biggest fear, besides running out of gas, is falling. So, now that I've fallen, and I got right back up, I've realized that falling isn't such a bad thing, but it's not good for me either. I'm still in pain, still stiff, but I'm alive!
Can't wait until this weekend. An old co-worker of mine got married last Thursday, and on Sat, she is having a Pig Roast for her reception, and I'm going, also with another old co-worker. On Friday night, he and I are going to take his son to the Mont Alto (PA) fireman's carnival! It's fire hall carnival season! YAY! I've always loved those.
Hope y'all have a great weekend!
I should be asleep, but I can't. I can't believe that I fell like that, and it scared the crap out of me, as well as my manager. My biggest fear, besides running out of gas, is falling. So, now that I've fallen, and I got right back up, I've realized that falling isn't such a bad thing, but it's not good for me either. I'm still in pain, still stiff, but I'm alive!
Can't wait until this weekend. An old co-worker of mine got married last Thursday, and on Sat, she is having a Pig Roast for her reception, and I'm going, also with another old co-worker. On Friday night, he and I are going to take his son to the Mont Alto (PA) fireman's carnival! It's fire hall carnival season! YAY! I've always loved those.
Hope y'all have a great weekend!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life!
That's right, that's today!!! Today IS the first day of the rest of my life. New beginnings are starting for me. Orientation classes start for me tonight, they will last for the next 3 weeks, then my credit baring classes will begin.
So, this morning, I was looking over my assignments, and finishing them, as well as submitting them to my facilitator, and once I had completed everything, it all hit me. ALL of it! This is a HUGE commitment. This is 4 years of my life, I will be almost 50 when I graduate. Needless to say, I had a bit of a freak out this morning with all of this realization hitting me. I ended up on my front porch, smoking a cigarette, and crying. It's a bit overwhelming, to be perfectly honest. As I paced my porch, I realized that I cry for pretty much two reasons: 1.) I'm really frustrated and 2.) I'm scared. The third and final reason is that I'm really sad. The other thing that I realized is that I have VERY supportive people in my life, who tell me that I can do this. To those people, I ask that you continue to tell me that, because I really need your support, and I probably need it more than you all realize.
The other thing that I thought about while pacing my porch (something I do when I need to really think something through), is that I realized that I am really a bit of a bitch. I say that because, you see, I've always been the supportive one in my relationships...I didn't much receive either support or validation from the people who were supposed to be doing those things, and in that, there is a very small part of me, that wants to, upon graduation, with my Bachelor's degree diploma in hand, run around my ex-husband, singing: "I did it, I did it, I DID IT"! Some of that is to rub it in his face that I completed something that he has not, a full college education. Yes, he has 2 AA degrees, and while I tried to get him to go back to school to complete his bachelor's degree, he always had some excuse why he couldn't do it, then take some class that didn't have credits towards his degree, but may or may not have furthered his career. Either way, I supported him in his doing so. When I wanted to try to to go back to school, there was always a reason or excuse as to why I couldn't...we didn't have the money, I was working full time, I was raising 5 kids, and where would I find the time to do this? There were any number of reasons, and so, I felt defeated, and just didn't do it. Now, here I am standing on the precipice, and ready to dive in, head first, into something that is really scaring me to bits!
So, now, this is me, saying: "Watch me do this! I'm going to do this, and not only will I do this, I will do it well, and am planning on graduating with as close to a 4.0 as I can get"!
3633333333333333333336
So, this morning, I was looking over my assignments, and finishing them, as well as submitting them to my facilitator, and once I had completed everything, it all hit me. ALL of it! This is a HUGE commitment. This is 4 years of my life, I will be almost 50 when I graduate. Needless to say, I had a bit of a freak out this morning with all of this realization hitting me. I ended up on my front porch, smoking a cigarette, and crying. It's a bit overwhelming, to be perfectly honest. As I paced my porch, I realized that I cry for pretty much two reasons: 1.) I'm really frustrated and 2.) I'm scared. The third and final reason is that I'm really sad. The other thing that I realized is that I have VERY supportive people in my life, who tell me that I can do this. To those people, I ask that you continue to tell me that, because I really need your support, and I probably need it more than you all realize.
The other thing that I thought about while pacing my porch (something I do when I need to really think something through), is that I realized that I am really a bit of a bitch. I say that because, you see, I've always been the supportive one in my relationships...I didn't much receive either support or validation from the people who were supposed to be doing those things, and in that, there is a very small part of me, that wants to, upon graduation, with my Bachelor's degree diploma in hand, run around my ex-husband, singing: "I did it, I did it, I DID IT"! Some of that is to rub it in his face that I completed something that he has not, a full college education. Yes, he has 2 AA degrees, and while I tried to get him to go back to school to complete his bachelor's degree, he always had some excuse why he couldn't do it, then take some class that didn't have credits towards his degree, but may or may not have furthered his career. Either way, I supported him in his doing so. When I wanted to try to to go back to school, there was always a reason or excuse as to why I couldn't...we didn't have the money, I was working full time, I was raising 5 kids, and where would I find the time to do this? There were any number of reasons, and so, I felt defeated, and just didn't do it. Now, here I am standing on the precipice, and ready to dive in, head first, into something that is really scaring me to bits!
So, now, this is me, saying: "Watch me do this! I'm going to do this, and not only will I do this, I will do it well, and am planning on graduating with as close to a 4.0 as I can get"!
3633333333333333333336
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Officially A College Student
I received the news this morning. I am officially a college student. My classes will start Monday evening, and I'm going for my bachelor's in Business Admin. I'm so excited and can't wait to start going to classes again. It's been about 15 years since I've taken any classes, and I'm so ready to begin! It's about time that I get to do something that is just for me, to better myself! I can't wait!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Cranky Day
So, today, I had to work. It's been a long week, to say the least. While I love the new job...I've missed being in retail. I know, I'm a bit crazy, but the truth is that I've missed talking to people, helping them build their wardrobes, teaching them about foundation garments. You'd be surprised at how many women are wearing the wrong sized bras! Anyway...I'm cranky today! I haven't been this cranky in a very long while. It's probably a good thing that I've got a day off tomorrow...even though I have to go see my doctor for my annual physical! YAY! NOT!
So, in my crankiness, I've been thinking that I want happiness, may have found some, and then I turn around, and someone has to just kick me down again. I'm kind of tired of that.
This weekend, my soon-to-be-ex-husband is down in Williamsburg, visiting our grandchildren, and I just can't say how sad that makes me to know that, yet again, I was good enough to raise his son, and now, I'm not good enough to be a grandmother. I just want to cry. I miss my son, his wife, and my grandsons so very much. I miss being a grandmother. I miss being involved in their lives, and knowing what is going on with them. I just miss being loved by them. I miss a 4 year old's arms around my neck, and his big blue eyes. I'm just not sure what to do about this. It really hurts being on the outside and looking in, and never being asked to join, or visit, or even being spoken to. I don't know how else to put it.
So, in my crankiness, I've been thinking that I want happiness, may have found some, and then I turn around, and someone has to just kick me down again. I'm kind of tired of that.
This weekend, my soon-to-be-ex-husband is down in Williamsburg, visiting our grandchildren, and I just can't say how sad that makes me to know that, yet again, I was good enough to raise his son, and now, I'm not good enough to be a grandmother. I just want to cry. I miss my son, his wife, and my grandsons so very much. I miss being a grandmother. I miss being involved in their lives, and knowing what is going on with them. I just miss being loved by them. I miss a 4 year old's arms around my neck, and his big blue eyes. I'm just not sure what to do about this. It really hurts being on the outside and looking in, and never being asked to join, or visit, or even being spoken to. I don't know how else to put it.
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